Cultural Banter: No, No Soy Prostituta

So I’m going to share one of my favorite stories from Spain. It happened my first weekend ever in Toledo two years ago. The girls, I was studying abroad with, and I went to our first clubbing experience. There, another one of the girls (we’ll call her ‘C’) and I met these 2 ‘muy guapo’ guys. We stayed later than the other girls and walked around the city with our new ‘friends’. Before we knew it, it was almost 7am. The boys took a taxi back to their apartment a few miles outside of town. C walked me back to Zocodover, the main city center, to see when the buses would start up for the morning. Discovering that I still had an hour wait, we went to look for a taxi. We compiled our money and realized that I didn’t have enough to get back. It had started to rain so walking was out of the question. C offered to run back to her house and grab some extra money for me. I sat on a bench as dawn arrived waiting for her.

All of a sudden, I hear a man’s voice. I turn around to see a taxi driver waving me over to him. Not sure what was happening, I walked over to see what he wanted. He asked me if I needed a ride home. I said ‘Yes’ but that I was waiting for my friend to bring me some money. He asked where I lived and I gave him the general neighborhood as I began to feel a little creeped out. He said he would drive me for free. Skeptical and thinking I miss understood him (of course, this conversation was in Spanish), I just stared in confusion. He had to be at least 60 years old, bald with a few missing teeth. After a few awkward seconds, he repeated himself. Sure enough I understood him correctly but then he gave me the other half of the agreement. He would drive me for free to my place IF he could take a nap with me in MY bed! I looked at him dumbfounded for what felt like 10 minutes. After, I kindly declined and quickly walked away. Luckily, C came back within the next 2 minutes where I walked a few blocks down the road to find another taxi to go home.

This is one event that I think will stay with me for a long time. It was the first of many times that I would be propositioned by a man simply for the color of my hair. This particular night, I told myself, should have been a little expected. After all, I was a blonde dressed a bit provocatively since I just came from the bars. Plus how does it look, a young blonde sitting alone in the rain at 7 in the morning. What man wouldn’t think I was a real ‘Working Girl’?

Well over 2 years have passed since this awkward experience. I have come to accept the attention being a natural blonde in Spain gets me. So I still get the occasional car beep and ‘guapa’ yelled from Spanish men of all ages and sizes. However, I have learned to simply give a little grin and keep walking past. Being a bit too old for super-minis and tube tops these days, I have successfully kept away any sexual propositions from men assuming I was working for the ‘dinero’ (if you get my drift)…

That was until a few weeks ago. I had just left my friend Craig from a nice dinner followed by a few martinis in my neighborhood. It was a Friday night but having worked all day, I wasn’t feeling like going out ‘BIG’ so I was walking home by midnight. (Sounds late but remember, we don’t eat dinner here until 9.30- 10pm) Anyways, I was a few blocks away from my apartment about to turn a corner onto my side-street. As I approached this woman comes trudging past me with a hand cart (used to carry groceries) I didn’t pay that much attention though I thought it was weird that a woman her age would be out with a cart when clearly all supermarkets had been closed for hours. Not giving it another thought, I kept my eyes straight ahead as we started to cross paths going in the opposite direction. Out of nowhere, I hear this woman start mumbling under her breath.

I laughed in silence as this was a common sight in Madrid- older people that tended to be a bit off their rocker and walked the streets alone talking to themselves or at best their dogs. But as we were about even with each other, her mumbling got louder and louder until I realized that she was talking to me. Having zoned out of actually listening to her, it took me a minute to start translating what she was saying. By the time I could, this woman was pointing her finger in my face, half-screaming at me.

(Translated version):

“Why are you here? We don’t want your kind here! Why don’t you go back to your own country and leave our men in peace. What kind of person are you? You should be ashamed! “

I was so shocked and at first couldn’t figure out what had started this woman’s rant. Yes, I was blonde but there was no way she could tell I was an American; therefore, I knew that wasn’t the reason. Several passersby had stopped to watch this spectacle. I really wish that someone was videotaping my reaction because I can’t even imagine the dumbfounded look on my face. Which was a thought that actually crossed my mind that I was on some hidden camera show.

Well, by the time I could muster up a ‘Perdóname?” the woman had already taken off in the opposite direction. My eyes followed her as it finally occurred to me what she meant. Absolutely appalled, I yelled back, “No soy prostituta!!!” As I realized that she was too far gone to hear my delayed response, I quickly added, more to myself, “Soy profe de ingles!” (I’m an English teacher!) I stood there for a few more seconds trying to figure out what in the hell just happened. I continued slowly back to my apartment as I replayed the scene in my mind. Why did this woman think I was a prostitute? I wasn’t wearing anything provocative in the least. I had on jeans and my chucks with my pea coat and a knit hat. Not exactly my best “come hither boys” outfit. I walked into my apartment where my roommate Dani was watching TV on the couch. He looks up and asked, “Que tal tu noche?” (How was your night?) I looked at him still with an expression of disbelief and asked “Do I look like a prostitute to you?”

Santander, Spain

After over 8 months living in Spain, it started to wear on me that I had yet to travel anywhere(without counting my 5 day trip back to the States the end of October). I had always been talking about travelling with another teacher, Nikki. So one week, I was sitting in the teacher’s lounge and looked at her and said, “Dude, we are booking the cheapest flight we can find for one of the following weekends!” She enthusiastically laughed and said “Alright, let’s do it!” We met up that Sunday after lunch and went to her place to search airlines. The cheapest flights around Europe can be found on easyjet.com, ryanair.com or vueling.com. During January, most of these sites had great offers as most people didn’t travel right after the holidays. We discussed where both of us had already travelled in the past because we both wanted to go someplace new. Furthermore, we didn’t want to spend a ridiculous amount of money. From another teacher’s idea, I suggested arriving to our destination early on a Saturday, sightseeing and shopping all day, having a long dinner and partying all night. After all that, then we would head straight to the airport for the earliest flight back to Madrid. My reasoning was, hey- we’re young and energetic; then we don’t have to spend money on a hostel. Nikki was skeptically feeling my optimism and agreed to the idea. As we looked, we finally decided on Santander in Northern Spain. We felt that other European cities would require more time and money than we had. Plus, Santander isn’t really a hot tourist destination. So if our plans of doing a 24 hours trip bombed terribly, then we wouldn’t feel like it was a complete waste. Santander looked nice enough but not that fantastic that we would ever feel like going again. With our minds made up, we booked the trip for 2 weeks later.

We told all our friends and family about what we had dubbed “Our Grand Aventura.” No one else shared our optimism and told us we had to be certifiably insane to go 24 hours straight. We shrugged off their comments as the anticipation grew for our trip. Luckily, Nikki’s roommate was from Santander so she made us a list of things we had to see. We did a little research online for maps and transportation. By Friday, we were all smiles for the next morning. However, Nikki didn’t get done with classes till after 9pm on Fridays. Afterwards she still needed to run home, eat dinner and shower. Because our flight left at 7am, we agreed that it would be easier for her to sleep at my place as we would have to wake up at 4:00 and public transportation didn’t start that early. One of our administrators, Cat told me about this bus service that picked you up at your door anytime to take you to the airport for a lot cheaper than a regular taxi. So we had our pick-up a 4:30. Well, Nikki didn’t get to my place till after midnight. Not exactly the way you want to start off a 24 hour ‘aventura’. 4 o’clock came ever so quickly but we got up with a jump. Nothing was stopping us now!

We arrived in Santander by 8 in the morning. We caught the city bus to the city-center as we laughed with a wide-eyed anticipation. Dawn had yet to arrive and none of the coffee shops were open just yet. Nikki and I didn’t waste a second. We immediately found the main street and hit the main Cathedral first. Next, was a cute little fish market that had just been set up by the vendors. After that was the Ayuntamiento (Town Hall). In less than an hour we had already marked 3 things off our list. Daylight had finally arrived so we decided it was time for our first coffee and some breakfast. We asked some people where we could find the tourist office and set off to get an actual city map. Right away we were met by a morning rain shower as we found the tourist office didn’t open till 10. We walked around the ‘jardines’ and near the docks, umbrellas in hand, as we waited.

10 o’clock arrived and we got all the information we needed for the day. We decided the best approach would be to start from left to right. So we back tracked a little to hit some of the things we had missed. We stopped at every interesting church, house, market and monument in the center of Santander. We stopped a little after noon for another coffee and little snack. Then we decided to reward our high-spirits with a little shopping. When we had reached the furthest left point of the city, we walked back towards the center to find lunch. Well, we found this neat little indoor market/ bakery where we bought this absolutely AMAZING cheese. We bought a huge chunk and later some bread which more than made a great lunch for us. Nikki and I had made it back to the center and sat in one of the main plazas to watch the locals and plan the next part of our trip. After our little ‘descanso’, we went to a few more sites and then continued to the right side of the city which was planned to be the best part: the beaches. We walked leisurely along the bay watching the boats sail by. Finally at around 4pm we made it to the Peninsula de la Magdalena. We knew after about 10 minutes of walking next to the sea that this trip was well worth anything we would go through in the next 12 hours that followed. Our spirits still soaring and fatigue still being kept at bay, we skipped along the beaches collecting shells, posing for photos and sat in amazement of the absolute beauty of this city.

The beaches slowly turned into lush green grasses as we followed the upward trails towards the Summer Palace built on the impressive cliffs of the sea. Being a weekend in Spain, all the large tourist attractions closed their doors to the public by 2 in the afternoon. But Nikki and I weren’t disappointed in the least as our eyes had plenty to fixate on. Following the trails around the peninsula we saw old armada ships and an outdoor zoo whose only inhabitants left during the cold winter were walruses and penguins. We continued until we found ourselves on the other side of the peninsula and dusk finally approaching the coast. We ventured into the darkness onto El Paseo de Reina Victoria where the most luxurious houses in Santander can be found. Previously, we had stopped to buy some postcards from the cutest little vendor and asked him for a ‘native’ place to sample some delicious Santanderian cuisine. With his recommendations in hand, we took off to find us dinner. Unfortunately, the vendor’s favorite restaurant was closed for vacations (a very typical reason in Spain as most entrepreneurs take vacations whenever the mood strikes them). So we found another local pub to have a quick ‘cana’ and some rabas (fried octopus pieces). We walked around some more looking for our next destination as the first real signs fatigue reared their ugly head. Not really interested in waiting for a table, we stopped at a little Mexican restaurant we had come across earlier in the day. Nikki and I shared a plate of loaded nachos as we reviewed the last 16 hours and other typical girl talk.

After a heavy dinner, tire pains really hit us hard. We found a few local bars to sit back in as we shared a bottle of vodka and coffees. A fabulous mixture! Haha. The weather itself was quite pleasant (ranging from probably 15 degrees C/ 50 degrees F) but being outside for going on 18 hours, Nikki and I just couldn’t seem to retain any body heat. Feeling our breaking point approaching, we kept our fingers crossed that the bus station would keep its doors open throughout the night so we could find a corner to snuggle next to and take a nap until our bus arrived 5 hours later. No such luck. So we sat huddled together outside the station, cursing those walking around in light jackets as we sat shivering in our coats, gloves, hats and scarves. When I hit my point of no return, I pleaded Nikki for us to walk around and perhaps find some café still open at 3 am where I could regain feeling in the fingers. All we found was an indoor ATM that gave us an opportunity to get out of the wind and sit comfortably for awhile. Feeling a bit better, the two of us gathered our strength and took one last stroll of the city trying to remember those ‘this is going to be SO worth it’ feelings we had just hours before.

Finally around 5 am we went back to the station that finally opened their doors where we waited in silence/ half asleep for our bus to take us to the airport. Once there, we each found a bench and set our alarm for a 45 minute cat-nap until it was boarding time. At this point, thoughts of looking ridiculous to other travelers were the last things on our mind. As we took our seats on the plane, neither of us spoke a word as we both were asleep before the flight attendants could even start their safety speeches. In no time, we were back in Madrid utterly aghast at what we had just ‘accomplished’. We sat on the metro, too tired to speak until we just turned, looked at each other and let out a small chuckle as we both shook our heads in disbelief. “Well that was interesting!” Nikki said as we parted ways to our different metro lines. I smiled as we said goodbye and went straight home to the comfort of my bed where I stayed until I had to go to work the next morning. Nikki and I saw each other later the next day as one of our colleagues came to us and asked jokingly how our trip had been. We looked at each other with devious smiles and both said, “It really was an Aventura!”

More Christmas Festivals in Spain

Historical Background:

December 28th is 'Día de los santos inocentes' or 'Day of the Innocent Saints' and is very like Aprils Fools Day in the UK and USA. People try to trick each other into believing silly stories and jokes. Newspapers and TV stations also run silly stories. If you trick someone, you can call them 'Inocente, inocente' which means 'innocent, innocent'. 28th December is when people all over the world remember the babies that were killed on the orders of King Herod when he was trying to kill the baby Jesus.

Apart from Christmas, there is another festival that is celebrated in Spain that is about the Christmas Story. It is called Epiphany or Kings' Day and is celebrated on 6th January. This is the twelfth night after Christmas. In Spanish, Epiphany is called 'Fiesta de Los tres Reyes Magos': in English this means 'The festival of the three Magic Kings'. Epiphany celebrates when the Kings or Wise men brought gifts to the baby Jesus.

Children have some presents on Christmas Day, but most are opened at Epiphany. Some children believe that the Kings bring presents to them at Epiphany. They write letters to the Kings on Boxing Day, December 26th, asking for toys and presents. And on Epiphany Eve (January 5th) they leave shoes on windowsills or balconies or under the Christmas Tree to be filled with presents. Gifts are often left by children for the Kings, a class of Cognac for each King, a satsuma and some walnuts. Sometimes a bucket of water is left for the camels that bring the Kings! If the children have been bad, the Kings might leave pieces of coal made out of sugar in the presents!

Some big towns and cities have Epiphany Parades with each King having a big float that is shaped like a camel. Sometimes there are also real camels in the parade. The Three Kings in the the Spanish Epiphany are:

• Gaspar, who has brown hair and a brown beard (or no beard!) and wears a green cloak and a gold crown with green jewels on it. He is the King of Sheba. Gaspar represents the Frankincense brought to Jesus. Frankincense is sometimes used in worship in Churches and showed that people worship Jesus.

• Melchior, who has long white hair and a white beard and wears a gold cloak. He is the King of Arabia. Melchior represents the Gold brought to Jesus. Gold is associated with Kings and Christians believe that Jesus is the King of Kings.

• Balthazar, who has black skin and a black beard (or no beard!) and wears a purple cloak. He is the King of Tarse and Egypt. Balthazar represents the gift of Myrrh that was brought to Jesus. Myrrh is a perfume that is put on dead bodies to make them smell nice and showed that Jesus would suffer and die.

A special cake called 'Roscón' is eaten at Epiphany. Roscón means 'ring shape roll'. It is very doughy and is bought from a bakery on Epiphany morning. Roscón can be filled with cream or chocolate and contain a little gift.





Personal Experience:

After Christmas and New Years my holiday was abruptly coming to an end. I was preparing for the start of a new semester at work as well as spending as much time enjoying what was left of my vacation. 'Día de los Santos Inocentes' passed without my knowledge. I watched the news the next day as they reviewed some of the celebrity pranks that had occurred. Then I remembered but wasn’t bothered either way.

Los Reyes Magos is a very important holiday here so I anticipated celebrating it in some way. The night before was a huge parade covering half the city; so, a few of teacher’s and I went to watch it then out for a few drinks later that night to watch an important ‘futbol’ match. The days surrounding, I walked around the main center of Madrid and looked at all the decorations and street performers that had all the children eagerly anticipating the 3 King’s arrival. However, my first work meeting of the year was the actual night of the holiday. So I missed most of my roommates’ celebration with the 'Roscón'.

I got a piece of it later that night but didn’t get to experience it in the real Spanish manner. The following day classes began so it was a quick holiday for me. Overall, I feel it is really difficult for a foreigner to truly appreciate this holiday in the true Spanish way. It was fun to see all the families, especially the children, so happy for something other than Santa Claus. It was a nice culture difference but not one that I can really explain to its full importance.