Reconnecting to an Unknown Past...

It's been an eventful few weeks to say the least. Especially on my journey to get abroad...

Starting off, I finally finished the main portion of my TEFL Certification. I completed my 60-hour course and have my actual certificate to teach ESL. I can't tell you how emotional I was; not only because I finally realized that teaching may be my calling but the irony that comes with getting my teaching certificate before my actual college diploma! However, I've decided to take 2 specializations to go along with my certificate: one being Advanced English Grammar and the second being Business English. These will hopefully increase my marketablitly to Spanish institutions but also open more doors to private tutoring (a very lucrative way to make extra cash in Europe). So within the next 3 months, I will hopefully have both specializations completed and job offers rolling in... but let's not get ahead of myself here.

Probably the biggest decision I have made was based on some heavy setbacks when it came to looking for positions and grants within Spain. It seems a pesky little thing called the European Union (EU) has a problem giving jobs to anyone not a citizen to a country within... the European Union. For anyone that is confused, the United States is not a part of the EU. Therefore, I decided to take on the task of getting my dual citizenship with England. My ancestors including my father were raised in England. I never knew much about my family's life prior to their move to America in the 80s but with my new interest in the European way of life, I figured it was a good idea to look into my past. So I started my search on how to regain a part of my life I never knew about. I did the research online and found that luckily the male side of the family can be linked easily and leagally for citizenship. Any person that has a maternal father or grandfather from a foreign land in the EU can claim citizenship due to birth right. In recent years, a mother's lineage and adoption records can also be used. I was finally on the right track.

The only set back I came across was a lack of documentation on my parent's part. It seems that when my parents first married, they should have filed their marriage with the English government and thereafter, my birth. Because, needless to say, they didn't, I have to do so myself... 23 years after the fact. This is not only time consuming but pricey. All the paper work has to be done to the T and after this is sent in and accepted by the English consulate, I can finally begin my bid for dual citizenship. This should take hopefully 6 weeks. However, I do run the risk of being excluded from many of the benefits of being an EU citizen. One of which is the free labor clause that allows all EU citizens to work in any country that is apart of the European Union (including Spain) Here lies the dilemma. I'm spending so much time and money to get my dual citizenship with England in order to get my EU passport that will allow me to work in SPain freely. However, because I was not actually born in England, the UK government can decide to revoke my EU benefits after a personal interview with me. But it is a risk I am willing and must take.

In the mean time, I am still preparing to take this one last test that will finally give me my Bachelors that I have been longing for. I am also applying for some teaching positions with the hope of having an EU passport shortly. Luckily, Dani, my dearest friend from Spain, found me a possible position that gives student visas to Americans for a short time to teach English. This is the best hope I have if my dual citizenship doesn't work out. The pay is not great, but at least it is a start. The only problem is that I do not get to choose where I get to teach in Spain. I know the phrase that 'beggars cannot be choosers' but I feel that being close to Dani and Toledo is the only chance i have at keeping my sanity on such a life changing journey.

Personally, I am struggling on all fronts. My desire to return to the 'exotic' European life is overwhelming. But my fears and love for comfort are definately wearing me down. As time passes, I feel that I am losing myself again and returning to the careless and naive ways of my past. I find it harder and harder to remember some things that made my time abroad to magical. And I doubt myself and my abilities as Spain becomes a distant memory and even a dream that was too good to be true. All I can do now is trust myself to remember the reason why I started off on this journey to return abroad and to realize that I only have one life that cannot be wasted in conformity and constant protection. Time will only tell...